Retard Jeopardy!

I had a dream last night that I'm sure is common to a lot of people - I was a contestant on the show Retard Jeopardy!
Soon after drifting off to sleep, Don Pardo, in heels and a feather boa, introduced us:"Now entering the studio, an obsessive compulsive fingernail clipper from central Jersey, Michael G."
I enter the stage cautiously, unsure why all these people were in my living room. As I assumed the position at my podium, I noticed that my dogs are the only two in the audience who are clapping.
Don continued, "An elementary school principal from Upper Black Eddy, Pennsylvania, Ephraim Roth. And our returning champion, a clinical psychologist from Casper, Wyoming, Sylvia Bitterman."
Ephraim and Sylvia enter the stage holding hands and kissed each other on the cheek. They both walked over to Don Pardo and the three partook in a group hug. Ephraim and Sylvia then retreated to their respective places on stage. Everyone apparently knows each other.
Alex Trebek enters wearing a pink bathrobe, top hat and bunny slippers. He gets right to it.
"Hello contestants, let's get right to it."
There is only one category today - "Opposites Attract"."
In this category, contestants", Alex informs us, "We will give you a word, you must tell us its opposite. Sylvia, as returning champion, you begin."
"I'll take Opposites Attract for two hundred."
"Tall" Alex announces, sure he has a stumper on his hands.
I'm pretty sure I've got this one and am the first to buzz in.
"Michael?", Alex asks.
"What is Short?"
"Ooh, no, sorry."
Ephraim is the next to buzz in.
"Ephraim?"
"What is 'Not tall'?"
"Correct. Select again"
"I'll take Opposites attract for seventy-two hundred"
"The answer is... 'Fast'"
Thinking the first question was an aberration, I take my chances and again buzz in first.
"Michael?"
"What is 'slow?"
"Sorry, incorrect again. Sylvia?"
"What is 'Not fast'?"
"Correct, select again."
Although there was only one category, it seemingly had no end. I continued my routine of buzzing in and guessing incorrectly until Final Retard Jeopardy! mercifully arrived. My score was in the negative hundreds of thousands of dollars range, which they informed me I would have to pay before I left. Sylvia and Ephraim had battled to a virtual dead heat and placed their wagers.
"Today's Final Retard Jeopardy! category is 'State Capitals'. Good luck."

Easy.  "Montgomery," I thought, as I confidently scribbled my answer.

Vanna White walked over to the board and spun around the Final Retard Jeopardy! answer - "Alabama".
Sylvia went on to become a two day champion after Ephraim forgot to write his answer in the form of a question, "What is A?"
I awakened startled, but quickly reassured myself, "It was only a dream, right?"