TDT for 3/16/07

(I apologize in advance to anyone who reads this)

One of the disabilities I'm forced to deal with on a daily basis is what's clinically know as TDT, or Trivial Debilitating Thoughts.
TDTs are thoughts that, without warning, pop into your head and consume all your mental processing power until a) you solve them b) you pass out or c) you're hit by a truck. There's been many instances where I would be going through a normal, daily routine when all of a sudden I'd be stricken by TDT, effectively rendering me vegetative.
There are many different levels of TDT, with some being more severe than others. TDTs range all the way from a Category One TDT, which may involve something like "Why is clapboard such a stupid word?", to a Category Seven TDT, which… I'm not thinking of, I'm not thinking of, I'm not thinking of.. Two all beef patties, special sauce lettuce cheese pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. Dead puppies. Naked old ladies. (Sorry, that's a little recovery trick I've learned)
But God forbid I should be stricken by a TDT involving Pi or Perpetual Motion, I'd… um…. brb…
[nine days later]
Anyway, nine mornings ago, I was stricken with a Category Three TDT that startled me out of a sound sleep and made me late for work, and here it is: What the hell is mince meat?
Is it meat? If it is meat, why would you call it "mince meat" and not just "mince"? For Thanksgiving, do we say we're having Turkey Meat or Pig Meat for dinner? If it's NOT meat, why? Just "why?"
Are there Thanksgiving conversations taking place all over the world that I'm not privy to that go something like this?
"Grandma, what are we having for dinner?"
"We're having Turkey meat and green beans, sweetie."
"Mmmmmmmmmmm, my favorite! Are we having dessert?"
"Yes, I made a lovely mince meat pie."
"Oooh, I like mince meat pie! Where did you get the mince?"
"Your Grandad brought it home."
"He did?"
"Yes, why don't you go ask him about it."
"O-kay!"
"Grandad, Gramma said you brought home the mince for our mince meat pie."
"That's right darlin', I did."
"Tell me how you got it?!"
"We were on safari… just me and my guide Hoopafoofoo, when we came upon a clearing in the jungle."
"And? Go on!"
"Out of nowhere a mince came charging at me, hell-bent on killin' me."
"What'd you do, Grandad?"
"Well, I raised my musket, aimed the barrel square between its eyes and squeezed the trigger. But the durned thing jammed on me!"
"Oh No!"
"So I pulled my Popeil Pocket Mincer and wrassled the critter to the ground."
"Tell me you made it out alive, Grandad?!"
"I did. We wrassled around in the dirt... the mince mussed my hair an' tore ma blouse, but I made it out okay, Sugarbritches."
[she hugs Grandad]
"Thank you Ron Popeil! This mince meat pie is gonna be extra special!"
So yeah, I was a little late to work today thanks to this TDT.

In an effort to avoid another morning like this morning, I tried to find out exactly what mince meat or mincedmeat or whatever the hell it is - is!
Now that I know, I'm sure I'll be sleep deprived for other reasons.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mincemeat